Apparently Rice Krispies have decided to accompany me on this last half of my life, making up for being horribly neglectful during the first half.

Snap likes to party under both kneecaps mostly when going up stairs, but sometimes when turning corners on flat surfaces.

Crackle is lower key, preferring to be the designated driver for Snap during stairway sojourns, quietly grinding away under both kneecaps and most noticeable to the kneecap owner. He likes it that way. He’s an introvert.

Pop is the most obnoxious, loudly proclaiming his presence any time he pleases often scaring passersby. Stairs? His favorite pastime. Walking on any surface, smooth, bumpy or indifferent? Why is this even a question? Not moving at all? A challenge he rises to. Anybody can Snap up the stairs. Try Popping when standing still.

Whenever Crackle introduces his siblings as “this is my brother Snap and my other brother Snap”, Pop protests as loudly as possible, often eliciting several SHHHHH’s from nearby librarians. After all, he has perfected the “standing perfectly still Pop” and he’s damn proud of it.

When did Snap, Crackle and Pop take up residence? According to the learned osteopathic doc, they started as microscopic embryos during my long and vigorous trampoline career as a child, growing during my bicycling and softball years, then lying quietly in wait while I spent my adulthood gaining, er…weight, providing much needed pressure to really take root.

The denouement for Snap, Crackle and Pop came the day their 44 year old host fell directly on to her left kneecap for no discernable reason. It took them a few weeks to get organized, but then WHAM! They got the party started complete with a blazing bonfire.

They now present a unified front in the form of severe arthritis developed over years of painstaking work.

Don’t worry. I’m sure Snap, Crackle and Pop will get back to their day jobs as soon as they are all partied out and that searing pain, also known as the blazing bonfire, has died down to coals. Who knows when the next big party will happen.

Gosh.

I can’t wait.

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